NEW HAIR DOO

Friday I went to the salon with my two amazing daughters, as it was time to address "the hair". It was beginning to come out and rather than wait til it was "wispy", I decided to clipper it down --not bald, but very close. Was that hard? Well yes, though I am so glad that my girls were there and Brittany and Matt, our family stylists, were and have been over-the-top supportive! I was so grateful. They were all so encouraging, we laughed, chatted and hugged. I'm sure we were all on the verge of tears, but all stayed strong.

Later that night, I stood alone in front of the mirror and cried. Yes, it was hard because until that moment I could look at myself and say -- you're not sick look at you. You're fine. Now I look at the image that stares back. It is so different. I look like I am a cancer patient. It is real.

I've done real before. I've lost my parents, endured my husbands Navy career and of course labored for three wonderful babies -- so Real -- all of it. And since I've gone through those things, I am certain I can do this too.  I can find the joy in the things around me. I can keep perspective and focus on the right things. I've discovered in my life that God strengthened me when I lost my father and again when I lost my mother. He gave me wisdom in my marriage and grace through uncertainties. And amazingly although I didn't think I would make it through childbirth - I did!!!! He helps, He restores, and He will restore me in this too.

Psalm 23:3 He restores my soul...

INCREDIBLE JOY

Today I rested my hand on Savannah's belly and my sweet grandson, Soren Lind Wallace, kicked my hand. Oh sweet, sweetness of Life!!!  I am blessed.

Updates tomorrow!!

DAY 2 CHEMO +

Well as I understand it... Day 2 of Chemo is not normal, but due to the small reaction I had on Tuesday, it was necessary to go back in and finish all of the treatment on Wednesday. We started at 8:45 and finished at 4:00. Stephen and Savannah took shifts. It was so nice to have them there! -- I know that I have the loving prayers of so many of my friends and family, because I felt peace and continue to feel waves of peace. Thanks so much for the prayers they work!

Wednesday night was the toughest,  but I slept on and off through the night and a lot on Thursday and Friday. This morning, Saturday, was a better morning. Started the day somewhat normal. Stephen and I even went on a few non-medical errands. And what a beautiful breezy perfectly tempered morning!  These are the little things that I intend to watch for everyday--that will drive me through this journey.  The smiles on my beautiful daughters faces, the tender calls from my son, holding my sweet hubby's hand every chance I get and a simple beautiful breeze. It's time to live.

DAY 1 CHEMO

So all began well this morning--got to the doctor's office and settled in. Love the nurse - she is amazing (I'll call her Daisy!) and I really like the doctor too. He is attentive and very detailed.  No fluff.  I really felt taken care of.

Around late morning after they set me up and started on the first drug - Rituxan. I began to have a reaction a little itch here and there, and some burning and discomfort on my abdomen. Daisy came right over - She looked at my back and stomach and I was getting welts so they stopped that drug - set it aside and dosed me up with a good amount of Benadryl. Pretty quickly all the symptoms disappeared!  They began again more slowly the second time. It was so slow in fact that I was asked to come back tomorrow (11th) so they are able to complete the treatment. I was there from 8:15-5:30. Long day.

Felt pretty good though. I was comfortable and had My Stephen with me. It is so wonderful to have someone there to watch and have that second set of eyes and ears. Blessed, Blessed, Blessed!

I am ready to get the first session behind me. Time to kick cancer's butt!

1 Kings 5:4

But now the Lord my God has given me peace on all my borders. I have no enemies, and there is no danger of attack.

"PORT DAY"

Well - the journey starts to go uphill now. Today was a long day, but nearly done. I had a port put in today at the hospital, which will allow them to do the chemo, draw blood and other tests through this little contraption put in just under the skin near my collar bone. Kinda neat when you think about it.  This will keep the doctors from treating me like a pin cushion. I am pretty sore and a bit bruised but ready for the day tomorrow.

My blessings today-- warm blankets, having Stephen by my side all day, and my Savannah arranged to collect cards, gift cards, yummy smelling lush products, books, movies and snacks from my beloved family and friends. I felt overwhelmed with love. I cried. It was really, really nice.

Again, I thank you all for your continued prayers, I have felt God's strength, peace and especially love!!

BLESSINGS!!!

So many little blessings from loved ones:

I have received loads of encouraging emails and text messages, kind words and prayers!!  They all mean so much to me.

I received a big Incredible Edible Bouquet and choc covered treats- the bananas were delicious!

One friend took me to a “Korean Café”.  It was a quaint place and the time was sweet!

Another took me to an authentic Mexican restaurant – yum guacamole!

I’ve received cards and gift cards, so very thoughtful!

This weekend a sweet friend took me to get a pedicure!!!   

And three wonderful prayer warriors made their way from Macon to pray for me.

And of course a lot of hugs!

I am so blessed.  It is so cool when you are not expecting anything and unexpectedly you get surprised by a person, wanting to do something really nice.  I am surrounded by truly good people!

I do know that when someone close is facing something difficult, it is hard to know what to say, and what to do.  I am sure it feels awkward to some.  I’ve been there too.  Just know that I’m really ok.  I like to laugh and was able to recently when Stephen had to let one of his co-workers know what was going on with me.  This big gruffy man sputtered and choked then just said,  “I am sorry, I suck at this!”